Transitions don’t happen in a vacuum

Image courtesy of Clarita.

One of the trickiest things about transitions is that the impact a particular one rarely compares to how important the transition is to you personally.  And it rarely compares to the importance of the change that set it in motion.  Some of our transitions are celebrated with lots of ceremony, like graduations, while others just happen in a quiet way that takes us by surprise.

Even trickier are that ones that happen without us even noticing them.  Or the ones that are so gradual that we have trouble putting a finger on when they happened.  We feel different, but we don’t know why for a long time.  Something changed in our lives, we can feel that, but we don’t know what it is.  You’re left off wondering if a transition is happening at all.  Or if you’re going crazy.

Lots of times, it’s our way of coping that determine how much a transition impacts you.  One person may be torn apart by a divorce, while another feels a sense of relief in leaving a failed marriage.  Other people have the ability to shake off even major changes in their lives without it impacting them to a noticeable degree.

Keep in mind that very rarely will be go through a single transition at a time.  Often they come in groups, with one change in our lives accompanying or starting another one.  You will start a new job, and at the same time move across the country, buy a dog and become a pet parent, and start living on your own without your spouse once the divorce becomes final.  The single transition that happens in a vacuum is the exception, not the rule.

So if you’re feeling that chain reaction of change, it’s not necessarily that a single decision (like changing jobs) is solely to blame for how your world has changed.  It’s more likely that a whole gang of changes were happening at the same time and one is just standing out more for you.

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